For Brian's Birthday

                                                          Mom and Brian in the backyard, nice tree.

                                                                Dad and Brian - What's with that tree?

Since Brian's birthday is next week I thought I would find a shot or two of the handsome guy as a cute baby.  I remember Brian as a pretty easy baby.  He didn't cry a lot so when Mom had to go to church early one week and Dad was left to bring us and Dad forgot him it didn't surprise me a lot.  Brian was in the papoose basket with Sam, our faithful and fabulous dog, sitting with paws on either side as if to say, "You left this and it looked important so I'm lookin' after it.".  Brian also got left at a truck stop while we were on family vacation.  The discovery was made a state away.  He seemed perfectly happy to be there ... or be with Mom & Dad ... or whatever. 

Happy Birthday Little Bro!

Small Family

                                                         Hanna Clan - Near the beginning
                                                                 Dad, Mom, Brian
                                                          Sherri, David, Debbie, Marcy

This week I got back from the media transfer company a disc with family photos.  I have been having a lot of fun looking at pictures I've never seen and laughing at a lot of them. 

I like my very wierd expression in the shot above.  David was obviously distracted by life and thus not in the moment.  I LOVE Debbie's half smile - was she trying to only smile with half her face (which I had done a million times) or did she just have dental work (another serious possibility)?  And Marcy looking like she belongs in someone elses family. 

I am going to post a few here and there as I make more discoveries.  I am also going to copy the disc and pass them out as I get to it.  I figure we haven't seen them in this many years you can wait a few more weeks (months?).

Here's to the start of something fun.

Life Change

Yesterday something big happened.  It was one of those things that once said can't be taken back. I was hurt and angry when it happened.  I don't want to go into details but a relationship has been damaged. (NOTE: It's not Jim.)

Here are my questions:

1.  When you find out that things aren't what you believed to be but just about the polar opposite how do you respond to 'normal' activity thereafter?
2.  Do you try to forgive when they don't think they've done anything wrong?  Is character - true colors? - a forgivable thing or is it just something you have to learn to accept once you know it?
3.  As I look back on more than 20 years, do I need to examine each encounter or should I leave each as what I felt it was then?

For more than 20 years I believed that the relationship was one that was growing and being made stronger by both of us.  Trust has been slashed and stomped on.  I'm not sure about love: at very least it's not the love I thought.  I am feeling used and a little bit stupid.  

I like knowing where I stand with people - good or bad - so I can't put the appropriate level of trust into that relationship.  I don't know where that is right now.  I know how I want to feel about the relationship I want to have.  I now think I know what they want and it isn't where I want to go.

How do I resolve this in my heart?