For Brian's Birthday

                                                          Mom and Brian in the backyard, nice tree.

                                                                Dad and Brian - What's with that tree?

Since Brian's birthday is next week I thought I would find a shot or two of the handsome guy as a cute baby.  I remember Brian as a pretty easy baby.  He didn't cry a lot so when Mom had to go to church early one week and Dad was left to bring us and Dad forgot him it didn't surprise me a lot.  Brian was in the papoose basket with Sam, our faithful and fabulous dog, sitting with paws on either side as if to say, "You left this and it looked important so I'm lookin' after it.".  Brian also got left at a truck stop while we were on family vacation.  The discovery was made a state away.  He seemed perfectly happy to be there ... or be with Mom & Dad ... or whatever. 

Happy Birthday Little Bro!

Small Family

                                                         Hanna Clan - Near the beginning
                                                                 Dad, Mom, Brian
                                                          Sherri, David, Debbie, Marcy

This week I got back from the media transfer company a disc with family photos.  I have been having a lot of fun looking at pictures I've never seen and laughing at a lot of them. 

I like my very wierd expression in the shot above.  David was obviously distracted by life and thus not in the moment.  I LOVE Debbie's half smile - was she trying to only smile with half her face (which I had done a million times) or did she just have dental work (another serious possibility)?  And Marcy looking like she belongs in someone elses family. 

I am going to post a few here and there as I make more discoveries.  I am also going to copy the disc and pass them out as I get to it.  I figure we haven't seen them in this many years you can wait a few more weeks (months?).

Here's to the start of something fun.

Life Change

Yesterday something big happened.  It was one of those things that once said can't be taken back. I was hurt and angry when it happened.  I don't want to go into details but a relationship has been damaged. (NOTE: It's not Jim.)

Here are my questions:

1.  When you find out that things aren't what you believed to be but just about the polar opposite how do you respond to 'normal' activity thereafter?
2.  Do you try to forgive when they don't think they've done anything wrong?  Is character - true colors? - a forgivable thing or is it just something you have to learn to accept once you know it?
3.  As I look back on more than 20 years, do I need to examine each encounter or should I leave each as what I felt it was then?

For more than 20 years I believed that the relationship was one that was growing and being made stronger by both of us.  Trust has been slashed and stomped on.  I'm not sure about love: at very least it's not the love I thought.  I am feeling used and a little bit stupid.  

I like knowing where I stand with people - good or bad - so I can't put the appropriate level of trust into that relationship.  I don't know where that is right now.  I know how I want to feel about the relationship I want to have.  I now think I know what they want and it isn't where I want to go.

How do I resolve this in my heart?

SF Color Run!

                                                            Lauren in the Mosh-pit!

                                    From lower left: Robyn, Sanya, and Lauren in a purple haze

A couple of months ago Lauren begged me about doing a 5k.  She promised to train daily and to be cheerful.  She ran a couple of times with me but we had vacation, Lauren was gone for a week with a friend, then she was sick so I really thought she was going to have problems finishing a 3.1 miles.  The drive up was great, all three were giggly and excited.  It was cold up in SF just by the bay but there were so many people that were jumping around and throwing the colored cornstarch that we huddled in  the middle so we kept out of the wind.

We were in the second wave of 500 that went out on a very short circuit.  Every 1/2 mile there were cornstarch throwers covering us in a different colors.  The girls did great and walked about 1/3 of the track.  The finish was unspectacular but the after party was loud and fun.

We crowded up to the front because Sanya jumped the fence twice - with my urging - to go do dance contests.  She won one of them!  We were cheering her on very loudly!

Lauren has decided she wants to do another 5k like this one in September.  I like that maybe (MAYBE) I will have someone to run with.  :-)

Back to the Future

                                    Playing garage tag while raining the kids found this DeLorean

It's been a tough week and I am hoping that I can go back to the future and tell myself a few things.

1) Don't worry so much.  It will turn out fine.  You can't change what has already happened and thinking about it will cause more anxiety.
2) Stop obsessively cleaning when you are anxious.  If you keep scrubbing that floor/door/counter it will eventually disappear which will cause another problem.
3) Your children will turn out fine.  They don't have to be rocket scientists or designers or soccer stars.  They need to make their own decisions and realize those consequences.
4) Love the moment.  Or even like it or enjoy it.  Make the best of the situation. Smile more.
5) You can't change your genes so do the best you can (all you can?) and carry on.

So, as you can see I have a few hundred-thousand personal issue things to work on.  Time to make a list and get moving.

Cool Vacation

Outside Hogsmeade

Our Florida vacation was wet.  We discovered:

1.  Ponchos ARE necessary during tropical depressions

2.  Amusement Parks deserted during rain storms

3.  Walking around with squishy sandals for hours sucks

4.  70% humidity means that my hair looks like a bob

5.  Swimming until the hotel kicks you out at 10 is awesome

6.  You never fully dry out when it rains constantly

As you can see from this list much of our vacation revolved around water.  Don't get me wrong, the vacation was fun.  Seeing the Dellers was great.  Getting to run on rides over and over again was a lot of fun.  We were really blessed not to have it be incredibly hot every day and have to deal with sunburns.  Instead we were dealing with rotating shoes so feet didn't get moldy. 

Things we wouldn't have missed:

1.  Hogsmeade was fabulous!

2.  Butterbeer was interesting not great

3.  I still can't do rides (tried the HP - no good)

4.  Jim loves Universals turkey legs

5.  Warm rain is no damper for us (Oregon stock :-)

6.  We need to see family more

Thanks Florida.  We may not be back soon - it took me 40 years - but we had fun!

Braised Beef with veggies

4- 6 beef shanks cross cut
1 cup flour
salt and pepper
olive oil
3 tablespoons butter
1/2 onion (I like purple) diced
2 carrots scrubbed and diced
Zest of one lemon peeled with a vegetable peeler (wide and long pieces)
5 cloves of garlic peeled and smashed
2 bay leaves
1/4 cup Italian parsley chopped coarse
1 cup apple juice
2 cups beef broth
5 Yukon potatoes cubed

Preheat oven to 375'.  Heat 3 count of olive oil in large oven proof heavy pot. Salt and pepper beef shanks.  Dredge beef shanks in flour and place in large pot.  Brown beef until well seared on the outside, about 5 - 7 minutes each side.  Remove beef to plate.

(NOTE:  I cut up the vegetables, lemon, garlic and parsley and placed them all in a bowl before I started the beef.)  Place butter in pot and melt.  Add the onion, carrots, lemon peel, smashed garlic, bay leaves and parsley.  Stir constantly until garlic is golden brown.  Salt and pepper veggies to taste.  Add apple juice, beef broth and stir to combine.

Add the beef shank back into the pot and cover with a tight lid.  Place pot in oven for 1 1/2 hours.  Add potatoes and cook for an additional 30 minutes.

NOTE:  I will make this before church and set the delay start on the oven so I just have to add the potatoes - that I have cut up before church - and savor the incredibly tender beef with rich beef 'gravy'.