Monday, Monday can't stand that day

Overly complicated lever
1. Extra Dark this morning while running. Almost tripped on log in road. Okay, it may have been a branch but it was big.

2. Car wouldn't start for Jim. That means I traded him for the day.

3. Called AAA to jump car. Not the problem. Had to tow it to get it serviced.

4. Called dealership to set appointment. Nothing available until 4 pm. Ugh.

5. Called in-laws to ask to borrow my FIL's car since he isn't driving. Felt like I was 17 again. Not in a good way.

6. MIL picked me up and almost killed us on the drive to get FIL's car. No exaggeration.

7. Spent 2 hours at in-laws house doing "little things"... help!

8. Dealership called. Car started right up for them BUT they are going to keep it until it does it again... are we talking a day? A week? What?

9. Allergies kicked in today. Felt congested and like my eyes were going to pop out all day.

Can I be done now?

Patience / Positive

I liked Suzanne's query into our one word for the year. I used two. I just don't think one is enough for me. I want more! Or maybe I'm just an over achiever and need something else in my life to work on. Yeah, that's it, more work.

I need more patience with things that I can't change, that stress me out and I just need to take a really big breath. AND... Let. It. Go. This may need a lot of practice on my part so please be patient with me. ;-)

Being positive has been hard this last year. There have been a lot of changes and many things (no, I didn't grow a mustache (not yet anyway) and my princess-hood is on hold) - and one big one - that drag me down. I know what I need to do and I have my sisters in my corner. Of that I can be positive!

My hair is out but I'm still feeling weathered

Well, it has been 3 long weeks since I last wrote. 3 very long weeks. Let's recap:

1. Preparation for mediation

2. Mediation that went no where but to more (4+) meetings scheduled but now I know what

I'm being sued for, I think.

3. School started

4. Painted Lauren's room - still trying to get her stuff out of my room - daunting!!

5. Painted hall, including the 14' ceiling. Paintbrush taped on end of an extending pole works

great for those hard to reach places.

6. Research and document review for mediation - argh.

7. Had to finish on-line course for license renewal (will it matter if things go bad?) 91% on test.

I blame my score on Roger scratching for attention just when I started until I was done!!

8. Cracked rib - hard to sleep, hard to run

9. Caught a cold/flu type bug that knocked me out for a couple of days. When was the last time

I had a fever?

10. More research and paperwork review for mediation. Annoying!

11. More painting, office windows, FR windows and trim, and bathroom ceiling (ugh)

I am feeling better, I'm caught up on work (oh, yeah, throw that in the mix above) and my laundry is done for the day.

Maybe I'll shower.

I'm feeling weathered and I think my hairs on fire.

Yup. My hair is on fire.

I have had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week. Sunday afternoon things started to fall apart and it went downhill from there.

Sunday: Terrible dinner. I mean bad, tasteless and not enough of it. When I come away hungry and I ate everything on my plate it's bad. I also got lost and since I am directionally impaired and didn't get the help I needed quick enough I got mad.

Monday: I was home for 38 minutes between 8 a.m. and 6:15 p.m.. Enough said.

Tuesday: Tried to get to Lauren's room but was interrupted by kids, in-laws, work, in-laws, in-laws and I think I saw my husband in there somewhere around 9:30 p.m..

Wednesday: Lost my father-in-law. Well, I didn't lose him he lost himself. Thank goodness for a Good Samaritan that got him to pull over on Hwy 280 (he was going 15 mph) and lead him to where he needed to go. I called where he was supposed to be and had to go pick him up and then it was a driving circus running around with him on errands and getting him lunch. So, in the course of everything I lied (a necessary lie to keep FIL off road), stole (a key from his house - told MIL - so I could get to him if I need to), panicked twice and feel drained. And then I had to deal with the school district main office, a high school that my child doesn't attend and several people that told me, "...kids lie all the time about things like this...". WHAT?

Please spray me with seltzer water if you see me....

Whot? Whot?

I am wondering, after watching The Madness of King George a few nights ago, if the mad, demented, or depressed see it coming? I wonder if my father-in-law knows how disconnected his conversations are from what the rest of us? I wonder if it all seems perfectly natural?

I have been depressed just once. It lasted about a week. It came on like a ton of bricks. I did not see it coming but it was a dramatic event (only for me) that triggered it. Once there I felt like I was scrambling up a wet well wall trying to get out. I could see the light but I couldn't get to it. I called my sisters looking for support (which they were), I reached out to my home teacher for a blessing: and lots of tearful prayer. I was on the verge of actually calling our GP to get a referral when suddenly it was gone. Nothing monumental happened to make it go, it was just gone.

I injured my hip earlier this week and haven't been able to run for the last three days. I have felt my attitude and outlook slipping into dark places that should be left well enough alone. I'm not depressed I'm just not thrilled with things. I wonder if my endorphin craving comes from me needing to keep myself healthy? I wonder if there are any others in our family and extended family that have similar issues and what do they do to keep themselves healthy and happy.

For Keira

Healthy Challenge Day 3

I have one word for you, cholestrol. I have terrible cholestrol. My goal through the end of the year will be to eat things that will help naturally lower my cholestrol. I just had my blood work done seven weeks ago so I have a baseline. I will have it checked again in January. Now to figure out which food to eat... and not eat.

Day 2 Healthy Challenge

This healthy challenge is difficult for me. I feel I am pretty healthy and try to make decent food choices too ... except for one. I have a sweet tooth. So, today I decided I would cut desserts down to twice a week for the whole summer. (Vacation withstanding!) Fruit doesn't count as dessert so we can have as much watermelon as we please. I told the kids and unfortunately Tylor won't be joining us in the challenge: as you can see he has had a tragic accident.

A Week of 5 Healthy Changes

I started thinking about Rebekah's challenge on Saturday and decided on one for today. If an errand is withing 2 miles of my house I have to walk/run/ride my bike to do it. I was thinking about what I do all summer and about 80% is within that distance. So, today: I rode my bike to drop off dry cleaning (I'll walk over to pick it up later this week.), I ran down to the bank to make a deposit and as long as I was over that direction I picked up a veggie nosh pocket (think hot pocket only really good!) and I went to the store on my bike and picked up milk - I have a basket on my bike - and some fruit. During the summer the kids and I ride bikes quite often but this will make it healthier for us all.

4 of 5 - Yes, I know it's late!

It was too embarrassing to show the before picture. I pulled out all those clothes that are out of style, stained shrunk or I just hate. Same with the shoes.


And the end result.. ta-da! And NO $$!!

Yes-Man .. uh, Woe-man

I am a Yes-Man. Many in my family are: we come by it honestly - genetically. I'm sure Mom was a Yes-Man. Dad, well, to a point and if he can include his point probably. I don't want to speak for him but I've seen him do his share of Yes-man work.

I've been saying yes too often for my families liking and my sanity. I don't begrudge most of it but there are things that I'd rather not do but I think to myself, "If I don't do it, or help, I will end up doing it anyway or fixing what has been done instead of doing it right the first time.". That's really the crux of it, doing it right the first time. If I heard it once I heard it a thousand times, "If you have time to do it then you have time to do it right!". It must have sunk very deep into our very cells because I have a need to have things done right. Not that there aren't many ways to do things mind you and many of them end up right but there are people who do it wrong, sometimes on purpose I'm sure (my brother David was one of those people).

So, I will go on feeling a bit like a bobble head and doing things that I get pulled into. I guess it gets me out and involved with people when I would rather be solo or in smaller groups.

But here is the the Bobble Head Yes-Man group. May your neck springs never give out!

New Jeans for My Birthday

I love a good joke. Heck, I like bad ones too. Growing up with Dad that's what we had. There was one that ended, "... and kicks are for Trids!". I laughed and laughed at that and retold it (wrong I'm sure) a hundred times.

I was lamenting the results of some tests I had this week with my GP. He gives too much information most of the time with no relief in sight. I asked him how I could be doing ALL the right things and still have these results and that I was going to call my father to complain. He said very seriously, "You should ask for new genes for your birthday.". It took me a second but I thought I was going to collapse in my laughing fit. He smiled.

I QUIT!

Okay, so I haven't quite quit but I composed my e-mail to my boss. Jim is editing it for me. He says I need to be less emotional about it. Uh, I am emotional about it. Today I was told to come into Stanley's office - I didn't go because I was too mad about his lack of management skills or tact that I couldn't and be civil. I'm close. Maybe by tomorrow?? Wish me strength!

Breathing 101

For the last few years I have noticed that breathing through my nose has been getting worse with each successive year. I had a doctor tell me, I don't know, 10+ years ago I had a 'bit of a problem'. Well, in the last few months it has blossomed into a full problem.

I went to see a friend of my in-laws, go figure she's an ENT, Dr. Freeling. She said I was a deviant, no wait, erase that, go back. That I had an S curve in my septum, weak nasal valves (is this from Mom or Dad's side?) and, here's the kicker, a drooping tip that were all conspiring to make me wake up gasping and/or with a headache each morning. Nice. She said sitting up I am at 40% capacity, laying down with my head on a pillow with one side squashed into the pillow and the other collapsing (remember those weak valves?) I was barely breathing at all. The good news? No apnea. Whew.

So, she is going to fix me right up. I asked about fixing the valve issue - it involves harvesting (never a good term for surgical related issues) cartlidge from my ear (yeah, there's where I want to have scarring!) and rebuild the values and oh, by the way, your nose will be wider. "What do you mean wider?", I asked. "Think Michael Jackson the teenage years.", she says with one glove on. Yikes! So, I have opted for less wide but still breathing. She is going to straighten out my septum - no nose breaking here at all thank goodness! And, this is sort of funny, lift my tip. HUH? She is going to (turn away if you are squeamish) separate the skin from the bump in my nose and sew the skin from the inside up about 1/16th of an inch higher so I will have "more nostril" when I look in the mirror. By doing this it takes pressure off my weak valves allowing me to breath at about 90% capacity.

So now I am walking around pulling the skin from the bump in my nose up just a little bit and boy can I tell the difference. I am a little concerned about the bump though. With those stitches my bump will be about 1/64 higher for about three weeks until the stitches dissolve. No pics during that time..... ;-)

I am going in on December 9th for my nose job.... I don't think wishing me luck would be appropriate. How about sending a nice card to my ENT so she feels good about herself that day?

Something Wicked This Way Comes

I have this very odd feeling today. It makes my sides slightly tight and me feel as if something is going to happen. Don't ask me what. Don't ask me when.

I don't like this feeling at all. It's that bad type of anticipation that makes me jump a little at odd things or look over my shoulder one more time.

My run this morning was non-eventful but that's when it started. I may have a sore neck by tomorrow morning.

Do you get odd feelings?