I am wondering, after watching The Madness of King George a few nights ago, if the mad, demented, or depressed see it coming? I wonder if my father-in-law knows how disconnected his conversations are from what the rest of us? I wonder if it all seems perfectly natural?
I have been depressed just once. It lasted about a week. It came on like a ton of bricks. I did not see it coming but it was a dramatic event (only for me) that triggered it. Once there I felt like I was scrambling up a wet well wall trying to get out. I could see the light but I couldn't get to it. I called my sisters looking for support (which they were), I reached out to my home teacher for a blessing: and lots of tearful prayer. I was on the verge of actually calling our GP to get a referral when suddenly it was gone. Nothing monumental happened to make it go, it was just gone.
I injured my hip earlier this week and haven't been able to run for the last three days. I have felt my attitude and outlook slipping into dark places that should be left well enough alone. I'm not depressed I'm just not thrilled with things. I wonder if my endorphin craving comes from me needing to keep myself healthy? I wonder if there are any others in our family and extended family that have similar issues and what do they do to keep themselves healthy and happy.
During my first year of marriage when I was on the pill I had a fairly substantial personality change. (Slightly manic, irrational bouts of weeping...) And I wondered sometimes if I was going nuts. Happily, it finally worked itself out but I'm a lot more aggressive now about noticing changes and making people (Nathan) listen to me.
ReplyDeleteHope your hip improves!
P.S. My confirmation word was 'hetted' HAH!
I've battled low grade depression for years. Largely it is circumstantial(divorce, moving,weather, etc) and therefore transcient, but tough to see a way out of at the time. I take St John's Wort when it runs a while but exercise is the best I can recommend. Even if it's yoga, it helps.
ReplyDeleteChocolate and me time.
ReplyDeleteI have dipped into that low well for a few swims in the dark water. It sucks to feel 'Done!' and unexcited about anything.
The last true depression I went through, I had to find a quiet spot in the library, or behind a closed door, or a few cities away and sit and read and go for walks by myself and stop thinking non-stop about everybody else... just take some me time to get everything back in focus.
And don't forget the chocolate. It may not really help, but it certainly can't hurt :D